Mithivpibtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthoughtful beaver.

Mithivpibtarp created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mithivpibtarp, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mithivpibtarp, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Mithivpibtarp's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Mithivpibtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Mithivpibtarp's priests.

2. Never paint your hands fawn.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never feed coconuts to seals while wearing hats.