Funpinyak is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witty monkey.

Funpinyak created a Higgs boson two billion years ago.

If you believe in Funpinyak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Funpinyak, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Funpinyak's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Funpinyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always treat voles with great respect.

5. Do not hurt turtles.