Fonarndut is a god.

She takes the form of a large, pitiless tortoise.

Fonarndut created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonarndut, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fonarndut, she will destroy your favourite star.

Fonarndut's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Fonarndut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Fonarndut's name in vain.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed lentils to swans while wearing shorts.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never play with disobedient children.