Pakcunkon is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish bird.

Pakcunkon created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakcunkon, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pakcunkon, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Pakcunkon's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Pakcunkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to aardvarks while wearing jumpers.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near turtles while wearing blue stockings and balancing seven copper spheres on your hands.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Pakcunkon must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not eat strawberries.