Vonkjadmisnul is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, loving horse.

Vonkjadmisnul created the Sombrero Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkjadmisnul, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vonkjadmisnul, it will turn you into a sheep.

Vonkjadmisnul's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vonkjadmisnul's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Do not keep seven manatees in a large pit.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Never talk about fire.