Zimhasbess Bestgat is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, amazing giraffe.

Zimhasbess Bestgat created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Zimhasbess Bestgat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zimhasbess Bestgat, he will turn you into a plant.

Zimhasbess Bestgat's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Zimhasbess Bestgat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Never paint your feet white.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.