Gofhinjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a small, boastful scorpion.

Gofhinjarn created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofhinjarn, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gofhinjarn, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Gofhinjarn's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Gofhinjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not skip in public.