Kanwitquafyarpweegubquagjap Cunbogflamdumgessbintifgeb Rillgessid is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, slow jackal.

Kanwitquafyarpweegubquagjap Cunbogflamdumgessbintifgeb Rillgessid created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kanwitquafyarpweegubquagjap Cunbogflamdumgessbintifgeb Rillgessid, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kanwitquafyarpweegubquagjap Cunbogflamdumgessbintifgeb Rillgessid, he will turn you into a worm.

Kanwitquafyarpweegubquagjap Cunbogflamdumgessbintifgeb Rillgessid's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Kanwitquafyarpweegubquagjap Cunbogflamdumgessbintifgeb Rillgessid's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Kanwitquafyarpweegubquagjap Cunbogflamdumgessbintifgeb Rillgessid.