Padqueegtin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, clever lobster.

Padqueegtin created gold nine million years ago.

If you believe in Padqueegtin, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Padqueegtin, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Padqueegtin's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Padqueegtin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt capybaras.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Run away if five gulls approach from the north.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Padqueegtin.

5. Always help cats.