Podkingod is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ruthless narwhal.

Podkingod created the Sombrero Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Podkingod, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Podkingod, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Podkingod's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Podkingod's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Podkingod.

2. Retreat if eight seals approach from the west.

3. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Podkingod in the centre of the settlement.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. You must pray to Podkingod three times a day.