Artrilbun is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, selfish otter.

Artrilbun created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Artrilbun, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Artrilbun, she will ignore you.

Artrilbun's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Artrilbun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never think about gravity near hamsters while wearing cyan corsets and balancing seven lead spheres on your chest.

5. Never feed lentils to horses while wearing white trousers.