Larpshavjon is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, narcissistic seal.

Larpshavjon created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpshavjon, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Larpshavjon, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Larpshavjon's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Larpshavjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about moths.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.