Mapsagfod Zancusskam is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fussy sheep.

Mapsagfod Zancusskam created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapsagfod Zancusskam, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mapsagfod Zancusskam, he will jump up and down on your head.

Mapsagfod Zancusskam's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Mapsagfod Zancusskam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Always help sick dogs.

5. Always wear violet.