Hinquafarn is a god.

He takes the form of a small, idiotic chicken.

Hinquafarn created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinquafarn, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hinquafarn, he will turn you into a sheep.

Hinquafarn's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Hinquafarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not take Hinquafarn's name in vain.