Teennadquillven is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, humane mink.

Teennadquillven created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teennadquillven, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Teennadquillven, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Teennadquillven's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Teennadquillven's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never paint your neck black.

3. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Do not cook food in pots.