Vanmincep Cutpibfum is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ruthless wasp.

Vanmincep Cutpibfum created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanmincep Cutpibfum, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vanmincep Cutpibfum, he will throw large rocks at you.

Vanmincep Cutpibfum's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Vanmincep Cutpibfum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five lead sculptures of Vanmincep Cutpibfum on top of important buildings.

2. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Vanmincep Cutpibfum in the centre of the settlement.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never feed lentils to porpoises while wearing purple coats.