Flabbugtim is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, compassionate jackal.

Flabbugtim created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabbugtim, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flabbugtim, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Flabbugtim's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Flabbugtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to snails while wearing yellow hats.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Flabbugtim.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Flabbugtim loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

5. Feed all hungry frogs.