Gutsasaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid skunk.

Gutsasaf created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutsasaf, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gutsasaf, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gutsasaf's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Gutsasaf's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six aardvarks approach from the west.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near geese while wearing indigo coats and balancing four lead spheres on your head.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Never feed cucumbers to swans while wearing jumpers.