Camlamyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, slow hyena.

Camlamyarp created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Camlamyarp, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Camlamyarp, she will turn you into a frog.

Camlamyarp's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Camlamyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look after injured seals.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not covet oxen.