Habrutfed is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, strong guinea pig.

Habrutfed created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Habrutfed, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Habrutfed, it will throw large rocks at you.

Habrutfed's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Habrutfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near mites while wearing red stockings and balancing three iron spheres on your feet.