Fomvolcatren Cubdossfobnurtjig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, deceitful hare.

Fomvolcatren Cubdossfobnurtjig created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomvolcatren Cubdossfobnurtjig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fomvolcatren Cubdossfobnurtjig, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fomvolcatren Cubdossfobnurtjig's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Fomvolcatren Cubdossfobnurtjig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Run away from orange ducks, for they are unholy.

5. Worship no other gods but Fomvolcatren Cubdossfobnurtjig.