Bamquatcid Midjabnilnull is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate manatee.

Bamquatcid Midjabnilnull created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamquatcid Midjabnilnull, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bamquatcid Midjabnilnull, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bamquatcid Midjabnilnull's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bamquatcid Midjabnilnull's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five nickel sculptures of Bamquatcid Midjabnilnull on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near nematodes while wearing yellow corsets and balancing four titanium spheres on your legs.

3. Do not take Bamquatcid Midjabnilnull's name in vain.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.