Yokzagmap is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, weak dog.

Yokzagmap created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yokzagmap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yokzagmap, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yokzagmap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Yokzagmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Never think about dark energy near dolphins while wearing violet scarves and balancing six silver spheres on your neck.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.