Gumzagarn is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omnipotent bee.

Gumzagarn created the Sombrero Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumzagarn, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gumzagarn, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Gumzagarn's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gumzagarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. You must love Gumzagarn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never paint your back orange.

5. Never feed nuts to snails while wearing jumpers.