Hivligdit is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, competent hummingbird.

Hivligdit created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hivligdit, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hivligdit, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Hivligdit's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Hivligdit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Feed all hungry monkeys.

5. Always look after injured eagles.