Kanfubsanlabstiktamlargwad is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, calm seal.

Kanfubsanlabstiktamlargwad created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanfubsanlabstiktamlargwad, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kanfubsanlabstiktamlargwad, it will turn you into a rock.

Kanfubsanlabstiktamlargwad's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Kanfubsanlabstiktamlargwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about birds.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Hide if five sharks approach from the east.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.