Govlenbem is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, calm naga.

Govlenbem created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govlenbem, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Govlenbem, he will torture you forever.

Govlenbem's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Govlenbem's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always obey Govlenbem's priests.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.