Targxemvol is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, awesome tortoise.

Targxemvol created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targxemvol, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Targxemvol, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Targxemvol's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Targxemvol's Holy Commandments

1. Targxemvol loves swans, so they must be honoured.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Targxemvol must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always take life seriously.