Bellmegpan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, happy slug.

Bellmegpan created snails four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellmegpan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bellmegpan, it will be very unhappy.

Bellmegpan's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bellmegpan's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bellmegpan.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. You must pray to Bellmegpan six times a day.

4. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about dark matter.