Quafxemwee is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, idiotic swallow.

Quafxemwee created Mount Everest four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafxemwee, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quafxemwee, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Quafxemwee's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Quafxemwee's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Quafxemwee six times a day.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Worship no other gods but Quafxemwee.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never paint your head fawn.