Nanbonran is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unselfish dolphin.

Nanbonran created the Virgo Supercluster two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nanbonran, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nanbonran, she will turn you into a plant.

Nanbonran's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Nanbonran's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near shrews while wearing indigo tights and balancing six silver spheres on your face.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never write about dark matter.

4. Never mention sharks.

5. Respect your elders.