Dosslarpdud is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dosslarpdud created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosslarpdud, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dosslarpdud, she will turn you into a frog.

Dosslarpdud's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Dosslarpdud's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

3. Always help grasshopers.

4. Dosslarpdud must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not speak about carrots.