Betflanjip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, humorless centipede.

Betflanjip created the Black Eye Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Betflanjip, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Betflanjip, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Betflanjip's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Betflanjip's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Betflanjip.

2. Run away from turquoise capybaras, for they are unholy.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.