Fasontfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, ruthless grasshopper.

Fasontfarn created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasontfarn, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fasontfarn, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fasontfarn's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fasontfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always help great tits in need.

5. Do not leap in public.