Targpadnart is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, self-assured lobster.

Targpadnart created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Targpadnart, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Targpadnart, she will boil you in a big pot.

Targpadnart's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Targpadnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near frogs while wearing red boots.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not kill hamsters.

4. Retreat if five shrews approach from the east.

5. Never pour water over plants.