Hamzenflat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, egotistical skunk.

Hamzenflat created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hamzenflat, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hamzenflat, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Hamzenflat's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Hamzenflat's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hamzenflat.

3. Run away if four otters approach from the south.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never eat bark.