Nurgessfum is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, intelligent crab.

Nurgessfum created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Nurgessfum, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurgessfum, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nurgessfum's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Nurgessfum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow dogs for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Nurgessfum must be the most important thing in your life.