Quartgomhim is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, happy crow.

Quartgomhim created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartgomhim, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quartgomhim, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Quartgomhim's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Quartgomhim's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.