Dankarpig Guplapbon is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, intelligent wombat.

Dankarpig Guplapbon created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dankarpig Guplapbon, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dankarpig Guplapbon, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Dankarpig Guplapbon's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Dankarpig Guplapbon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue hamsters for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. You must never eat garlic.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

5. You must pray to Dankarpig Guplapbon seven times a day.