Ranhudtitcar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, vain finch.

Ranhudtitcar created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranhudtitcar, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ranhudtitcar, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ranhudtitcar's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Ranhudtitcar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four zinc sculptures of Ranhudtitcar on top of important buildings.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Ranhudtitcar loves ants, so they must be respected.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never feed apples to monkeys while wearing trousers.