Ponnuttyik is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, selfish armadillo.

Ponnuttyik created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponnuttyik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ponnuttyik, she will strike you with lightening.

Ponnuttyik's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Ponnuttyik's Holy Commandments

1. Ponnuttyik loves eagles, so they must be respected.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Ponnuttyik on top of all buildings.