Zakfubmitzak is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, calm owl.

Zakfubmitzak created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Zakfubmitzak, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Zakfubmitzak, she will turn you into a tree.

Zakfubmitzak's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Zakfubmitzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill aardvarks.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.