Cepsaftamquim is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, egotistical dryad.

Cepsaftamquim created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cepsaftamquim, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cepsaftamquim, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Cepsaftamquim's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Cepsaftamquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

2. Do not take Cepsaftamquim's name in vain.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near tortoises while wearing gray rings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your neck.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

5. Never look in ponds.