Sisquatmifkip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, humane gorilla.

Sisquatmifkip created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisquatmifkip, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Sisquatmifkip, she will destroy your home planet.

Sisquatmifkip's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Sisquatmifkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Run away if three turtles approach from the west.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Sisquatmifkip in the centre of the settlement.

4. Worship no other gods but Sisquatmifkip.

5. Pray towards the south.