Bigsigwad is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, dishonourable monkey.

Bigsigwad created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigsigwad, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bigsigwad, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bigsigwad's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Bigsigwad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six platinum sculptures of Bigsigwad on top of important buildings.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bigsigwad.

3. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Bigsigwad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never sit in holy places.