Jonjoplab Mitnathenkom Dodingveg is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, narcissistic meerkat.

Jonjoplab Mitnathenkom Dodingveg created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonjoplab Mitnathenkom Dodingveg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jonjoplab Mitnathenkom Dodingveg, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jonjoplab Mitnathenkom Dodingveg's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Jonjoplab Mitnathenkom Dodingveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always look after injured eagles.

3. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Learn three new languages a year.