Vanflabwap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, slow gnu.

Vanflabwap created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vanflabwap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vanflabwap, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Vanflabwap's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Vanflabwap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five turtles approach from the north.

2. Never feed wheat to dogs while wearing turquoise kilts.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never sprint near snakes.

5. Never look at planets.