Nibsidpan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, conceited guinea pig.

Nibsidpan created vertebrates three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibsidpan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nibsidpan, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nibsidpan's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nibsidpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Nibsidpan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never feed apples to hamsters while wearing black jumpers.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Nibsidpan.