Vilgumtin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, ill-tempered mouse.

Vilgumtin created a charm quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Vilgumtin, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vilgumtin, it will not care at all.

Vilgumtin's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vilgumtin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Do not eat grapes.