Begtofcet is a god.

He takes the form of a small, intelligent dove.

Begtofcet created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Begtofcet, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Begtofcet, he will turn you into a snail.

Begtofcet's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Begtofcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.